15 Signs He's Afraid to Approach You (Even If He Really Likes You) - Love Connection (2023)

Love can be scary.

Anyone who has felt this has also felt what it's like to be burned when love is taken away, betrayed or ruined.

That's why some guys resist even if they really like you.

Here's how to tell if this is the case.

15 Signs He's Afraid to Approach You (Even If He Really Likes You)

1) He is a nervous wreck around you

If a man is interested in you, it will show in one way or another.

No matter how hard he tries to hide it, his body language and behavior will reveal how he really feels.

One of the main signs that he is afraid to approach you (even if he genuinely likes you) is that he is a nervous wreck around you.

He blushes, stutters, shakes and shifts awkwardly, trying to be casual but acting anything but casual.

He wants to suppress his feelings for you, but he can't.

"This guy probably won't do much about his feelings, but he won't be able to hide them, and one of the first things you'll notice about him is the way he carries himself around you," writes Selma June.

"It means he'll be nervous every time he sees you. This man could be biting his nails, his legs could be shaking, or he could just be playing with his hands."

2) He cares about you a lot but tries to hide it

Sooner or later when you start dating a guy you will know how much he cares for you.

Is he very interested in what you say? Does he react when you get upset?

Is he interested in you talking or flirting with other men?

You'll see all these behaviors in the guy you're interested in, even if he's trying to hide them.

The only thing is, if he's become a real pro at suppressing emotions, maybe they're a little subtle.

He might sulk after you flirt or withdraw when you get angry.

But if you pay close attention, you'll notice that he's not just fantasizing about you out of indifference, he's doing it because he likes you and he's hurt.

3) He notices if you don't text or call for a few days

15 Signs He's Afraid to Approach You (Even If He Really Likes You) - Love Connection (1)

Another sure sign that he's afraid to approach you (even though he really likes you) is that he'll notice if you don't text or call for a few days.

Even though he's obviously hesitant to reach out, you can tell he doesn't like radio silence.

He might casually ask if you're okay or what was going on, but it'll be clear beneath the surface that he missed you.

That's what happens to aguy who was seriously injuredor are afraid of your feelings:

He will tend to be a bit of a sad guy. You will be able to see all the love he has to give within himself, but how he feels admitting it will make him weak or vulnerable.

4) He feels misunderstood and alone in life and love

One of the saddest signs that he's afraid to approach you (even though he really likes you) is that he's a lonely guy and he's telling you about it.

In one way or another, he will express feelings of being misunderstood and alone.

Even if he has a lot of friends, he will usually feel like they don't really understand him.

For the same reason, he will feel that you don't understand him either and wouldn't understand - or accept - who he really is deep down.

This fear of being exposed as inappropriate or bad can run very deep, as I will discuss later.

The best way to handle this is to let him know that you are insecure too.

Erin Schreiner has good advice on this.:

"Admit your fear. If you're as afraid of falling deeply and irrevocably in love as your man is, tell him.

"If you admit that love also makes you a little nervous, maybe you can show him that the feelings he's feeling aren't just his own."

5) He remembers the things you tell him and loves your jokes

When a man is interested in you, he remembers what you say to him and enjoys being around you.

One of the most important factors is a shared sense of humor, or at least he appreciates your jokes and sense of humor.

While he may avoid talking about commitment or getting "serious," his behavior will make it clear that he genuinely values ​​who you are and what you offer.

A guy who is afraid of commitment will usually downplay it and pretend he remembers a joke you told or a funny memory.

But when you compare that to the average guy who can't remember what you said to him 30 seconds ago, you have to admit that there's a good chance he's seriously interested in you.

6) Is his schedule fully open to you or closed

Dating a man who is afraid to approach him can be like walking a tightrope.

One moment he's on fire for you, the next he's acting like a distant stranger.

Scheduling dates is a minefield because at times it feels like he's really involved and his schedule is open...

And other times, everything blows up in your face and he can barely reach you, throwing one word responses at you like you're someone he's met...

It can be very painful and difficult not to take it personally.

"See if you can spot this pattern: He seems interested and starts a few dates in a row.

"Everything is going well and you feel good about the relationship."welcome Abigail Boyd.

"Suddenly his communication level drops and he's busier than usual."

7) He Loves Hanging Out With You, But He Often Cuts Dates Awkwardly

Another typical sign that he's afraid to get too close to you (even if he really likes you) is that he'll be all-in on dates but then suddenly runs away...

They might be having the best conversation ever over a nice glass of wine and a jazz band when all of a sudden he looks down at his phone and says something "happened..."

What "came up" isn't that he doesn't like you anymore, it's that the deep well of insecurity, fear and anxiety inside him has boiled over and he has an overwhelming urge to run for the hills.

The problem is, he wouldn't date you if he didn't have feelings for you.

But he also wouldn't interrupt or pursue you unless he had serious concerns about taking you seriously.

8) It sends really mixed signals

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Mixed signals are like the soundtrack of a man who is afraid to commit or get close to you but is still into you.

He sends you sweet messages one day and ghosts you the next.

He complements your outfit on the weekend and doesn't even make eye contact on Monday.

One week he's just talking about deep conversations over a romantic dinner, and the next he's just complaining about work or talking about why he can't date anyone right now.

It's a real roller coaster.

As Selma June observes:

“You'll go crazy trying to interpret its messages. You know, he doesn't know how to act, which is why he's so weird.

"One moment he's in love with you and the next he's nowhere to be found."

9) He talks about taking it seriously one day and downplaying it the next

Among the most common mixed signals that thescared guywill be sent are very promising and deliver very little.

goodhe has feelings for you, he sometimes gets caught up in it and talks about the future or how much he wants to be with you.

Then, as if embarrassed like a drunk with a hangover, it will slowly come back over the next few days.

"I said what?!" etc…

He will act like it's a joke or because he was drunk or being silly or something.

Because the core part of him that is scared will scream at him to back off and stop putting himself in emotional danger.

10) He rarely if ever opens up about how he really feels

Another of the biggest signs that he is afraid to approach you (even if he genuinely likes you) is that he rarely if ever talks about how deep he is feeling.

It can express emotions on the surface or suggest deeper things that lie beneath, but it won't go into detail.

Whether it's about his childhood, his parents' divorce, or his own beliefs, he likes to downplay it and pretend it doesn't matter.

Or he just shuts up and doesn't say anything.

As Love Strategies explains:

"Your guy might be afraid of love just because he doesn't know how to be vulnerable.

"It could be because he put up his barrier after previous injuries or because he only had casual relationships that didn't require vulnerability and trust."

11) He Tells Horror Stories About His Past Relationships

On the other hand, sometimes a guy talks about it in detailbad parts of past relationshipsto scare you

goodhe is afraid to commit, he tells what led him to this situation.

Is he correct or is he overreacting in building his case in a way that makes him feel safe?

Honestly, both are possible.

What is clear is that he has buried some trauma in his romantic past and this is preventing him from expressing his love for you.

12) He's trying to tell you why he's not good enough for you

This is another one of the self-sabotaging techniques a man will use when he likes you but is afraid to get close to you.

He'll just give you all the reasons why he's not good enough for you.

Your past, your career, your financial situation, your mental health, whatever...

It all adds up to the fact that you "deserve" someone better.

His inner fear of rejection and suffering causes him to push it away because he believes it will make him safer in the long run.

He tries to fight the feelingsfor you, not even diving.

"This is a man who is afraid that a woman will suddenly lose interest and leave him."writes Diana Kirschner M.D.

"Because of this, he finds it difficult to use honest and direct words and is very afraid of conflict."

13) He's an open book one day and completely closed the next

I pointed out that one of the signs of a guy who likes you but is afraid to get close to you is that he won't open up.

Another related sign that sometimes happens is that it will open wide one day and close again the next.

Basically he really wants you to know who he really is and be close to him, but then his reflexes kick in and he kicks himself and shuts down again.

This can be very difficult to deal with, as it's hard to know what to say to him when he's constantly changing his "modes" towards you.

When a guy does this, it takes a lot of patience and understanding to get through and come out the other side.

14) He thinks he is not worthy of your love

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Aside from trying to convince you that he's not good enough to make you feel safe,the scared guycan really believe that he is not good enough.

Unfortunately, experiences of all kinds can lead to low self-esteem and a deep inner feeling of inadequacy.

It is very painful to go through life this way and it can be a huge stumbling block along the way.to find true love and intimacy.

As Kirschner observes:

"Because a man is not valued and validated as he grows up, he may have a core unconscious fear that he is not worthy of love.

"He feels insecure and not good enough."

15) He doesn't want you to see his dark side

One of the biggest things that can stop a man from expressing his feelings for you is that he thinks your dark secrets will make you lose interest in him.

Doing so invalidates any connections you have.

"If she really knew X, Y, and Z, she'd run away," he muses, cutting off any chance you have in the present.

The sad truth is that sometimes dark secrets, including personal struggles, mental health issues, or past addictions, cause someone to lose interest.

But it's also true that no relationship is perfect, and opening up to your partner is part of the risk of love.

If he doesn't, his options are limited...

Does he suffer from philophobia?

Being afraid of falling in love sounds ridiculous, but it's very real.

There's even a word for it:Philophobia.

As WebMD notes:

“Philophobia is the fear of falling in love. It could also be fear of getting into a relationship or fear of not being able to maintain a relationship.

“A lot of people are a little afraid of falling in love at some point in their lives. But in extreme cases, philophobia can leave people feeling isolated and unloved.”

For various reasons, this guy may suffer from philophobia and be afraid to express his feelings for you.

This can be a very difficult situation and will take all your sanity and a lot of patience and compassion to deal with.

How to help you overcome your fear

At the end of the day, everyone has to make their own decisions.

It's up to this guy to overcome his fear of intimacy and reach out to you. Finding that courage within yourself and taking that risk is your move.

At the same time, you can helptriggers your heroic instinctand show him you believe in him as a man.

Be open, honest and genuine with him and let him know you're willing to risk love if he is.

He could just try.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice about your situation, speaking with a relationship coach can be very helpful.

I know this from personal experience...

I signed up a few months agorelationship herowhen I was going through a rough patch in my relationship. After being lost in thought for so long, they gave me unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to make it work again.

If you've never heard of Relationship Hero, it's a website where highly qualified relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.

I was blown away by how nice, empathetic and really helpful my coach was.

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